How to Stop Being a Hot Mess

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

~ Carl Bard

I became single after 21 years of marriage.

Because I didn’t have a degree and had few marketable skills. Everything was hard in those early days of being a single mom. I got a job working at my kid’s high school. I took a long hard look at myself. I did some soul searching. I took the opportunity to question everything: my choices, my beliefs, my hopes, and dreams. I realized that I had bought into many lies, myths, and phantom rules, that really didn’t make sense anymore. Finding myself at this very low place, I started taking classes, going to counseling, attending seminars, and reading as many books as I could get my hands on that could help me understand how I got myself into this mess, and how I could get out of it.

I developed a voracious hunger for information and education. I opened my mind to new ideas and learned about how other people think. I tried out different systems and programs that promised the results I was looking for. I was searching for answers, and searching for truth.

You may be aware of times in your past when you’ve created your own messes by the choices you’ve made. At other times your problems may seem to have been caused by circumstances completely beyond your control. Either way, it’s extremely helpful to find out what other people have done in similar situations to yours. Here are a few suggestions to get you started on your own discovery journey:

  • Read a book
  • Register for a class
  • Go to a seminar that looks interesting
  • Listen to an audio book
  • Attend a workshop
  • Do some research on the Internet etc. etc. etc.

As I did all of these things, I realized that the more I learned, the better I understood how I ended up where I was. My mind was being expanded and stretched by a plethora of new ideas. I found myself thinking thoughts I’d never thought before. I immersed myself in subjects that related to what was going on in my own life and experienced many paradigm shifts, epiphanies and aha moments.

I am committed to continually learning and growing. I’ve discovered that when I know better, I do better! When I do better, my life gets better.

Take a few minutes to reflect on the new knowledge and understanding you have gained in the last couple of years. I am sure you will realize the many ways that your life has improved. How have you “awakened”? Have you stopped doing the same things over and over, expecting different results? Pause to reflect and really analyze how far you’ve come. Take inventory of your unique journey. Become aware of all the ways you’re learning, growing, progressing, and improving.

As I’ve started doing more of the things that work and less of the things that don’t, I’ve gotten much better results. I live each day “on purpose”. Day after day I’m in the process of creating the life I was born to love!